Hi Witches!!!
Today my witches Sassy and Zelda are interviewing me. It’s a terrifying prospect. They live in my Magic and Mayhem World and are nuts. Don’t tell them I said that.
Anyhoo, hold on to your pointy hats and let’s get this over with. LOL
Zelda — Robyn. May I call you Robyn?
Robyn— Umm… yes. What else would you call me?
Zelda—Do you really want me to answer that?
Robyn—No.
Zelda—That’s what I thought. So what were you drinking when you made me save the day with a Troll named Fuc%ing Derrick?
Robyn—Oh come on, Fuc%ing Derrick is hilarious and kind of cute in a seriously ugly way. And I was drinking coke with rabbit turd ice in a Yeti cup.
Zelda—With bourbon?
Robyn—No. Straight coke. Nothing extra.
Zelda—Seriously?
Robyn—Totally.
Zelda—You’re unhinged.
Robyn— Correct. So are you.
Zelda—No big surprise there.
Sassy—I have a question. Shall I speak Canadian?
Robyn—Umm… okay. But Canadian is English.
Sassy—No, it’s not, eh. I’ve been studying it for aboot three weeks. It’s completely different than English. Eh? Canadian is a very difficult language to master. I’ve hired tutors from Toronto to come down and teach me. They’ll be arriving in ten minutes. In the meantime, I’ve been watching Strange Brew and drinking beer.
Robyn—Do you actually have a question for me?
Sassy—Yes! Will my adopted chipmunk shifter sons, Chip, Chad, Chunk and Chutney ever give me grandchipmunks?
Robyn—I hope not.
Sassy—Good answer. I’m too young to be a granny. Also, I’d like to star in another Assjacket Community Theatre production. Can you make that happen, Robyn?
Robyn—Possibly. Did you have something in mind?
Sassy—I was thinking of a musical version of Showgirls.
Zelda—Kill me now.
Robyn—Sassy, that’s a hard no. But thanks for the input.
Zelda—You’re not as dumb as you look, Robyn.
Robyn—Thank you… I think.
Zelda—The most important question I have for you is when in the Goddess’ granny panties are we getting a new book?
Robyn—Great news! It’s halfway written and will come out early next year.
Zelda—Is Fuc%ing Derrick in it?
Robyn—Do you want him in it?
Zelda—(after a long and scary pause) Yes. I do. He’s an asshole, but I like him.
Robyn—Consider it done.
Sassy—I have a request.
Robyn—I’m terrified.
Zelda—You should be.
Sassy—I’d like everyone to fly on brooms with no underpants like I do.
Zelda—Hard no.
Robyn—(at a loss for words) How about, no?
Sassy—That’s fine. Can everyone speak Canadian in the next book?
Robyn—Umm…sure. Any more questions?
Zelda—You want to go shopping?
Robyn—Where?
Zelda—Prada. Paris.
Robyn—How are we getting there?
Zelda—(enormous eye roll) You’re the writer, dumbass. Write us there.
Robyn—Will do.
Get ready for the next Magic and Mayhem book. Witches in Stitches will be coming out early 2026!! Hit the meme to check out the series!
xoxo Robyn
