What is it about Romance?

“Red is the color of my true love’s hair.”

“I’ll never love blue eyes again.”

“Gonna wash that man right outa my hair.”

“Suzanne takes your hand and she leads you to the river…”

The list of “love” quotes is endless. Face it, as human beings we’re fascinated with love and sex. From an anthropological standpoint, that’s probably a good thing. It’s kept our race from dying out.

It’s only been in modern times that marrying for romantic love has become acceptable. As recently as a hundred years ago, virtually all marriages were arranged for any number of reasons from property transfers to a family needing to offload a daughter they couldn’t afford to support. At least in my imagination, many a family spat occurred around the supper table when Father told his offspring who and when they’d marry.

Yes, it was Father doing the telling. They definitely ruled the roost. The women’s rights movement is relatively recent. We didn’t get the vote in this country until 1920. Women in Liechtenstein (a principality next door to Switzerland) didn’t get the vote until sometime in the 1960s! And women in many third world countries where they can’t even go to school would kill for a say in their own lives.

Whoops! Sorry about the digression. Except it really isn’t. I see a strong link between romance and women being independent. It’s empowering to know we can pick our own partner and that we can marry for love. If things go well in a relationship, that love blooms and matures and provides the very best human interaction imaginable. It’s not accidental married people live longer. I believe it’s because they feel loved and cared for and are able to love and nurture in return.

A popular subgenre in romance fiction is second-time-around romance. It works for the same reason people go to a high school reunion and take up with an old flame. The chemistry is still there. Of course the problems and issues are still there as well, but maturity gives us better coping mechanisms and more of an ability to empathize with our partner’s needs. Several of my stories feature couples who find each other after being separated for many years. The flame truly does burn sweeter the second time around.

For those of you in relationships, what are the most important ingredients you sought in a mate? Why those attributes and not something else? Sometimes people are shy, so I’ll lead out. I wanted a man who was kind. He had to be a mountain climber so he’d be supportive of what’s been a lifelong addiction for me. He had to be honest and honorable—in other words, I needed to be able to trust him unequivocally. Lastly, he needed to want to be a daddy. Funny how those things work. Our kids grew up and now we have dogs. The same principles apply. Kids pretty much run your life! Fur babies, too.

I’d love to hear what you think. What did you want in a partner? Did it work out the way you hoped? Come on now, don’t be shy.